Let’s pretend we’re having a Q&A session. All questions are taken from Aron et al’s Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness.
Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
Ryu Jun-Yeol. So that I can stare at him until I hate his face.
Would you like to be famous? In what way?
“Is she the one who writes [insert a book title here]? I thought she would be older.”
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
Yes. On the occasion I need to call on behalf of the company I’m with.
What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
Laid back. Cool, windy weather. With my family and dog pets. No TV. Only radio. And books. And coffee.
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
As I wrote this. And to my friends at their wedding, a few years back.
If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
The body of a 30-year-old.
Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
In my sleep.
Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
Well, for starter, we both are reading this.
For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
If only my father didn’t go on physical punishment.
Take 4 minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
Read my posts, especially between the lines.
If you could wake up tomorrow having gained anyone quality or ability, what would it be?
Some poker face.
If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
Did the captain of the Titanic cry? If love can move a mountain? Why the sky is blue? Somebody just have to answer those.
Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
Getting a tattoo. Not just yet. (UPDATE: I finally got my first tattoo!) So, my answer now would be: living nomad. I still need time to be available for parents.
What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
That I’m still holding myself together until today.
What do you value most in a friendship?
Trust. (Yes, I DO have trust issue.)
What is your most treasured memory?
The ones with my grandma. And the ones with my first pet dog.
What is your most terrible memory?
The ones when friendship is broken.
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
I would go back home and start writing the shit out of me.
What does friendship mean to you?
To be there, either physically or virtually.
What roles do love and affection play in your life?
Like the flickering light in a dark room.
Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of 5 items.
I think you’re interesting: you know there’s an About Me section in this blog, you make time to read this shit, you at least read English well, you’re curious (or aren’t you?), and you’re done reading this part.
How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Like a fine wine.
Make 3 true “we” statements each. For instance ‘We are both in this room feeling … “
We are online. Yay.
We like reading other people’s witing.
We have enough curiosity to read the about me page.
Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
cold sake, gyoza, and random talks on every cold rainy night.
If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
By now you need to know that sometimes all I need is someone to be present next to me.
Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
I like the way you look at read me my writings.
Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
Read through my social media. Some of those moments are embarrassing enough.
When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
In front of another people would be the other day in a movie theatre, watching some tearjerking scene. By myself would be the other night when I just feel like crying.
Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
I like how you make me curious and curiouser.
What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
Not having told this platonic friend of mine: Hey, I think we look good together.
Because that would be very subjective.
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save anyone item. What would it be? Why?
Anything I borrow from other people. So that I can still return it to them.
Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
I think I’ve prepared enough with family member death, but I don’t think I’ve prepared for my first dog’s death. I mean, she’s a dog, she loves us for us. (UPDATE: She died.) So to answer this question now: IDK.
Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
So… we’ve gone so far. How do you think about this round of Q&A? Does it make us closer?